I am a short, obese, divorced, devoutly Christian female entering my Senior years, and they aren’t so golden – but not all tears and sadness, either. I was married for 27 years (until October of 2000), and have two handsome sons who have grown and flown into honorable manhood. My eldest is married, and that gave me a precious daughter-in-law to love as well ♥. There are no grandchildren, so I borrow from other siblings when I can.
[New Note: My younger unmarried son and his girlfriend got the surprise of their lives, and his name is Spencer John (named after his late grandfather, John). My only (for now) grandson was born in November of 2014, and he’s been a fun influence on all of us.]
I love civil discussions and wish to incite them and partake of them as much as possible. If I err, I hope I am willing to recant, apologize and make amends. Let me know if I owe some, k? I want this blog to be a safe place to say what we need to say – and then say it. We’ll all make mistakes now and then, and there will be misunderstandings. That’s because we only have written words to read. However, any profanity is not welcome here AT ALL. We all have vocabularies that are bigger than that. Please make the effort to avoid profanity, so I don’t have to delete your comment.
I am a gratefully recovering codependent since 1994, on a journey toward a healthier way of living. Some days I stumble. That keeps me from being too proud to admit I haven’t arrived at perfection yet.
I have been spiritually abused, and I have been a spiritual abuser. I am wiser than I used to be, and doing what I can to remedy what’s gone wrong with me, and then the world around me. I cannot control anything, but I can be an influence. I hope it’s more good than – well, the alternatives.
I have had 8 parents in my growing up years. Two from birth, they divorced and I got step parents, everyone’s dysfunctional, so I got foster parents – twice. I have had consistent contact with them all, and my sons enjoyed having multiple grandparents as a result. I am blessed beyond casual explanation with many wonderful siblings who I love deeply and profoundly. We all survived together in profound and laughable ways. I am losing each of the parents one by one, and that’s a heartbreak I didn’t see coming until the first one died.
I am Real. Here’s my favorite quote that shows what I mean:
“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’
‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.
‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit